I think I already failed miserably on my New Years Res. But, then again, who actually sticks to their resolution? That whole ‘I’m going to write EVERY DAY!’ thing might have been a bit ambitious. Let’s change it to every few days.
Today, I’m going to write about people. Because I’m graduating from my undergraduate program in less than four months, I seem to be stuck in a weird rut. I want to continue my life in this beautiful (but dreadfully cold) city with all of the people who have been so central in my life for the past few years, but I also can’t help but acknowledge the fact that I’ll be leaving them all soon.
People are, undeniably, the most important thing in our lives. I don’t care if you’re a social butterfly or a hermit (unless you’re an actual, live-alone-in-the-middle-of-the-woods-with-no-contact hermit… but then you wouldn’t be reading this, so I think we’re okay). From the moment we come into this world, we need people to love and support us. In fact, one of the trainings I had to do before working in childcare was about the importance of nurturing relationships in a child’s life. Relationships make up this world.
Three years ago, I chose the school that I did for many reasons. Among the most important reasons, I chose the school that I did because I didn’t know a single person going to it. I knew that it would be a fresh start, that I would be able to be whoever I wanted. Knowing no one was, at first, both a curse and a blessing – it meant learning to make new friends (which is not as easy as it used to be), but it also meant wiping the slate clean and beginning again. Now that I’ve spent a few years here, it seems impossible to imagine my life without the people I know now.
Interestingly, I almost promise you that I felt the same way the day I graduated from high school.
When people ask me what I’m going to do after graduation, I just kind of stare at them for a minute and giggle awkwardly. What am I going to do? Start over, I guess. Again. But that isn’t what they’re looking for, of course, so I don’t say it.
Think about it for a moment, though. What are our lives if not constant cycles of building homes, abandoning them and starting over? When we arrive in a new place, we spend so much time and expel so much energy trying to find out where we fit in this new world. Who will make up our support system? Who will we call if something amazing or horrible happens? Who will we go out with on Saturday night? Who will we eat breakfast with on Sunday morning? And, in a few months or years, we’re probably going to have to do it all again.
Until one day, maybe we won’t. Maybe, once we’re no longer wanderlusting twenty-somethings, the cycle will stop and we’ll finally build a home that has a strong enough foundation we won’t leave.