Dear alcohol: A break-up letter

You’ve made me feel so alive these days. You’ve coursed through my veins like a fiery poison, something I can’t shake. Something I don’t want to shake. You’ve been there for me when nobody else has and you’ve loved me when nobody else will. You’ve helped me (not) cope with everything that’s happened in my life and you’ve made those long nights so much shorter. 

We’ve had some pretty great times these past few months. We’ve laughed together, we’ve cried together. Remember that one time you encouraged me to kiss that cute boy at the bar? Yeah, that was a good night. Oh, and that one time that we met all of those new people? They were so great. And we had the best, most interesting conversations with them.

I fell in love with you, fast and hard, because of how you made me feel. I fell in love with the exciting, intriguing uniqueness of the nights we spent together. I fell in love with the way you cleared my head and made me forget all of the shitty things about being a lonely, lost twenty-something.

But lately, things have been getting a little rough between us. I’m pretty sure that you can see it too, even if you don’t want to (and even if I don’t want to). You’ve been letting me down. The things that you used to encourage me to do – the things that were fun – haven’t been so fun lately. You’ve started to scare me a little, with your wild antics and your carelessness.

This is going to sound harsh but, to be honest, you’ve started to get in the way of things. You’re distracting me from school and work. You’re taking me away from my friends and throwing me into new groups of friends that I’m not sure I even want to be in. You’re wrapping me up in your world, securing me in a cocoon of muted emotions and stories I can’t even remember. You’re starting to ruin things. Remember that guy – the genuinely nice one, the one that I actually really liked? Yeah, you messed that one up for me. You’re starting to get in the way of too many things for me to shrug it off anymore.

I’m sorry to do this to you but I just have to end it. I can’t let you get in the way of things anymore, and I can’t let you ruin any more good things. I might not be able to fix the things I’ve already let you wreck, but that’s okay. Just like any relationship, I’ve learned a great lesson after my time with you; I won’t regret it, but it’s time to say goodbye.

XO.

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