You walked into my life quietly, almost undetectable amongst the chaos I was caught up in. But after I found you, it was like the entire world held its breath and waited. Waited for us to fall, to fail. Waited for us.
On very rare occasions, if we’re lucky, we meet someone who changes the way our world spins. We meet someone who takes all of the broken pieces of us, scoops them up and makes us whole again — usually without even realizing it. And it’s the most terrifying, exhilarating feeling that you will ever experience. It’s more than lust or like or, maybe, even love. It’s something other, something more powerful than fear or desire. So where does that leave us and what do we do with it? It’s just time to decide what option you’re going to choose.
Option #1: Run Away
When it comes to dealing with an overflowing bucket of feels, this is, personally, my favorite option. When you care about someone so much that your heart physically aches when you think about walking away, that’s when you know it’s time to run. Is it the mature, adult thing to do? Hell no. Is it the easy, self-preserving thing to do? Yup. When we get in too deep, we either sink or swim — I’d rather be the one swimming than sinking, if you ask me. In the words of Meredith Grey, “Pain. You just have to ride it out. Hope it goes away on its own. Hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions. No easy answers. You just breathe deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time, pain can be managed. But sometimes, the pain gets you when you least expect it. Hits way below the belt and doesn’t let up. Pain. You just have to fight through. Because the truth is, you can’t outrun it. And life always makes more.”
Option #2: Pretend
Pretending is the easiest thing in the world. It’s easy to pretend you love someone when you don’t or pretend not to love someone when you do. You can ignore the way your heart beats just a second faster when that specific someone stands too close to you. You can ignore the way every single piece of you feels like it’s been covered in magnets that are determined to pull you to that person, even when Option #1 is looking like the best choice. But the problem with pretending is that, even if you think you’ve convinced yourself that you don’t care, something will happen and it will remind you that you do. Every time. Take it from Meredith: “Sometimes, reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass. And when the dam bursts, all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long. We are tired, we are scared. Denying it doesn’t change the truth. Sooner or later, we have to put aside our denial and face the world — head on, guns blazing.”
Option #3: Take a Risk
Okay, like I said, running away isn’t exactly the adult thing to do. So, if you have been lucky enough to find that person — the one who makes you feel alive, whole, (insert cliche here) — then maybe, just maybe, it’s worth the risk. I’m not saying that this person is your soulmate or your forever because, like you all know, I don’t believe in forever. But that doesn’t mean that there aren’t people you will never forget, people who make you feel things unlike anyone else in the world makes you feel. If that person is standing right in front of you, take a risk and tell him/her how you feel. If you’re together or if you’re not together — it doesn’t matter. As 13-year-old girls across the country have reminded us: YOLO. We get one shot at this life, and the worst thing that can happen is rejection. (In which case, you practice your avoidance skills and dive into bushes when you see them on the street and shit.) As Meredith says, “At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don’t keep other people out, they fence you in. Life is messy. That’s how we’re made. So you can waste your life drawing lines, or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines that are way too dangerous to cross. Here’s what I know: If you’re willing to take the chance, the view from the other side is spectacular.”